Way Too Deep: Signs You Might Be Overinvested

Or as I like to call it, "Looking Around My House".
I was thinking about 'tells' of people's jobs. You'd probably find steel-toed boots in a construction worker's house, or a waitress that reflexively straightens a table after a restaurant meal. For me, it's a combination of the two- so here's how I can tell if someone is in the pharmacy.
1. Their OTC meds have Xs on them.
2. If not Xs, then expiration dates, and sometimes both.
3. Lab coats. Lab coats in places you wouldn't expect them.
4. Constantly irritated with misuse of drug names/classes in media. "You idiot, you can OD on a benzo, but 'Benzodiazepine' is not an actual drug name!"
5. Constantly irritated with friends/family's misuse of meds. No, giving your kids penicillin when only one is sick is a terrible idea. Yes, by all means, throw out the bottle of Alka-Seltzer that still says it was made in Indiana out, please.
6. If they're in retail, everything that can be sold by their employer will be bought. Look at your store brands, if you buy them. If your vanity/nightstand looks like it came from one of their store-ads, well...
What do you consider a tell?

Another Explosive Ebay Find

Glass and tin graduated enema irrigation system. The current price on this baby is over $200. Ain't medical history grand?

You Really Can Find Anything On Ebay

A 19th Century Vulcanite Rectal Dilator or what looks to me like an antique butt plug. Treating constipation must have been worse than the constipation. Spelunking for intestinal polyps was an adventure in a brave new world. I think I would rather drink castor oil...

F*ck You, Hollywood!!!!

It has become a horrifying trend that I go to a theater with great expectations from some creatively edited promo preview that makes me want to watch a movie. So I go to the theater and plunk down a wad of my "I work to satisfy the whims of over privileged douche bags and bow down to the ridiculous demands of my corporate puppet masters" money to buy a ticket then bleed out a kidney to afford a soda and popcorn so I can sit for over 70 minutes to be let down and kicked in the face with your smug "We made this and you suckers paid to watch it" piece of shit movie. The money I spent on the ticket alone would have been put to better use if I wiped my ass with it.

I could have stayed home and watched the television programming that I pay a premium for instead of wasting any money at a theater. You know what's scary, Hollywood? Fighting for your life or your child's life due to cancer, physical therapy after a horrible crippling accident, trying to survive after being severely burned, losing your home because you lost your job, a death of a loved one that literally destroys your outlook on having any shred of happiness ever, growing up not knowing if you will have any food or water for that single day, growing up in a place where things are bombed on a regular basis, the shit I dream about on a daily basis when I am trying to rest, rape, politicians preventing women from having choice or access to birth control, etc.

What I am saying is this: better content, better story lines, better dialog, better cinematography and guaranteed refunds if the movie is a total piece of shit!

That is all.

What Would You Do??

So with the possibility of losing my job I was tossing around ideas of what would I do if I got fired. There are so many things but I go back to an idea some friends and I had in college but with an added twist. I want to share with you and in turn would like you to share with me. Please leave a comment with your dream job or a job you would do if you got fired.

I would use my unemployment time wisely and attend cooking school for baking and pastry. When finished some friends and I are going to open a multipurpose business. It shall be called Dia Betty's. Dia Betty's will specialize in homemade beers in limited edition that will only be available at our bar until they run out or until we decide to stop making that particular beer and change the recipe. The bar part will be open at 5pm for happy hour until last call at 2:30am. After we toss out the drunks and hose down the bar the magic happens in the other part of our facility.

The other part of our facility is a state of the art bakery. We will have a pastry of the day, a bread of the day, and whatever the hell else we feel like baking. We won't do specialty order cakes or any of that crap. It is a first come, first serve this is what we made today deal. When we sell our last baked item the shop is closed so come early or you aren't getting any carb-loaded goodness. If you sleep in your car after last call you might score some sweet sweet pastry before it sells out.

The beauty of Dia Betty's is that everything we serve is unhealthy, super delicious, and there ain't nobody named Betty working there. The hours will be limited as well as the days of the week we are open because the beauty of owning your own business is that you set the hours and the only standards you have to meet are set by the government and not some douche in a suit that has never worked in a retail pharmacy or have any idea what impact limiting medications and one-on-one time with a drug expert has on a human being's quality of life.

Cheers!

Corporate Vision

Sing to the song "Innervision" by System of a Down

I have a job, maybe not long

I'll have to find one, you'll have to find one

We speculate, no one will say

Will I be fired, I cannot see the

Corporate Vision, Corporate Vision

More hours cut, no twenty four

Manager silence, staffers all scared

Some put in notice, already left

Will I be fired, I cannot see the

Corporate Vision, Corporate Vision

We speculate to reinvent the process

New rolls we will play

Giving you drugs, giving advice

Scumbag suits always cut the payroll

Skeleton crew

Suits get more, we get less

Vision

Corporate Vision

Corporate Vision

Corporate Vision

Corporate Vision

Corporate Vision

Manager silence, manager silence

What Sours My Mayonnaise

You know what sours my mayonnaise? When there is a SARAA alert because some dumb ass parent takes their kid out of the hospital after the kid got a kidney transplant with no medications. This isn't like changing batteries in your remote control f*cktard! You can't just swap out the kidneys, stitch 'em up and you're ready to roll.

Let me break it down for you: Each individual has a set of protein markers throughout the body that tell the immune system "This is me." We find a "match" for a patient that has the most protein identification markers on it that are as close to the patient's protein identification markers as possible. Before, during, and after the transplant a patient has to be on drugs that keep the immune system from poking around the new kidneys and saying "Hey, that doesn't belong here so I have to kill it to protect myself!"

When the immune system decides to kill the new kidneys toxins will no longer be filtered out of the body. These toxins build up in the blood stream and are circulated in the blood to poison the rest of the body. Given enough time the rest of the body will shut down such as the liver, the lungs, the brain, the heart, etc. You have essentially put your child into the land of slow painful death.

Congratulations! You're a murderer whose reckless stupidity sours my mayonnaise!

***Update: On a happy note the child turned up at a hospital in a different state. I hope she gets the best of care and her dumb ass parent goes to prison.